Purple Knot Read online

Stern drove straight to the hospital. Zig-zagging through traffic, he left the car radio on a staticky jazz station I could barely hear. I caught Jimmy glancing in my direction a couple of times, but he was silent and didn’t reach for my hand again. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about that or not.

  When we pulled into the hospital parking lot, it was pouring like an ancient flood storm. I looked out the car window up to the top floors of the hospital and sighed. I would not have been surprised to see lightning streak across the sky.

  “Mona’s message said we’re up in the south tower. You can go on if you like.”

  “Aren’t you coming up?”

  I suddenly needed him to come with me. He held up his cell phone.

  “I’ll be up in a minute. Gotta call around for Mona.”

  I nodded. Mona was Jimmy and Summer’s mother. Big haired and perpetually tipsy, she was a southern belle of epic movie proportions. Given to sneaking cigarettes at inopportune moments, she never seemed to be around when they needed her. Mona and I never really hit it off. The only time she ever took my side was when I announced I was moving away from Seattle, away from her son.

  Once past the sliding glass doors of the lobby, I walked onto a conveniently opened elevator off to the right. My stomach did a roller-coaster flop and gurgled when I hit the button to the critical care ward. This was the epitome of my worst nightmare.

  The doors slid open on the quiet, dimly-lit ward, letting the smell of fear and antiseptic fly up my nose. Overstuffed chairs arranged in conversation nooks peppered the wide open floor plan. Glass sliding doors lined the far wall of the floor, privacy curtains pulled tight against prying eyes.

  I wondered which room held my best friend. Swallowing back acid, I wiped sweaty hands on my jeans, and stepped up to the nurse’s counter with a forced smile.

  “I’m here to see Summer Evans.”

  “You aren’t family.” The nurse looked at me and cocked her head.

  “I’m a family friend. My name is Reyna Cruz.” My long black ringlets and olive skin didn’t exactly scream Caucasian. I forced another smile.

  “Of course, Ms. Cruz, we received the paperwork a few hours ago.”

  She started walking around her station, poking in the paper trays, looking for something.

  “Here it is.” She handed me a sealed manila envelope. I stared at the address sticker of a law firm affixed to the front.

  “What is this?”

  “It’s your copy of the Durable Medical Power of Attorney.”

  “The what? What are these?”

  “Ms. Cruz, you’re Summer Evans’s legal medical guardian. She never told you?”

  “I – I…”

  The room suddenly felt hot.

  “We’ve been waiting for you to get here, Ms. Cruz. The surgeons are waiting on your OK.”

  A monitor went off on the nurse’s station and she left.

  I read through the legal jargon. Summer had made me her legal medical guardian in case of mental or physical incapacitation. She’d never said anything to me.

  “You see her yet?” Jimmy said from behind my right shoulder.

  “No, I haven’t found her…I mean I didn’t realize what…” I held the papers behind my back, feeling as if I’d been caught reading something dirty.

  “What are you sayin’, Rain?”

  A bemused expression played across Jimmy’s face. He leaned forward, reached around my waist, and pulled the papers from my hands.

  “Why do you always think that is an effective hiding place?”

  “Jimmy…” I tried to form a question, but didn’t know where to start.

  “What’s this?” Scanning the papers, his smile faded.

  “I didn’t know about this,” I said quickly. Why did I feel like I had done something wrong?

  “What’s what?” Mona asked from the hallway.” She stalked toward us from one of the glassed-in patient rooms, did a fake double-take, and sneered in my direction. “Oh, hello Reyna. Glad you could finally make it.”

  “I didn’t know about this. Did you?” I turned back to Jimmy.

  Jimmy shook his head. He looked at me with worry and something else…suspicion?

  “What are you babbling about?” Mona snapped. She sidled in front of me and spoke to Jimmy in a whisper. “I don’t think she’s allowed up here anyway. She’s not family.”

  “Mona—” Jimmy stopped when a doctor in surgical scrubs came out of the elevator. He walked over to us with his hand extended.

  “Ms. Cruz, I’m Dr. Banford, Summer’s attending.”

  I managed a nod and a quick glance at Mona, who looked shocked. She stepped forward. “How do you know this man?” Mona didn’t wait for my answer. Instead, she turned on Dr. Banford and shook her finger in his face. “Have you been giving information about my daughter over the phone?”

  “I don’t…”

  “Mona, Rain is Summer’s medical guardian,” Jimmy cut in.

  Mona’s lips flapped, but nothing emerged. I got ready to catch her eyeballs, should they pop out.

  “I don’t understand! We’re Summer’s family. Reyna’s barely even a friend.” She turned to face Banfield. “I thought we were waiting for Summer’s husband. I didn’t know…”

  “According to this, Summer Evans filed a Durable Medical Power of Attorney over a month ago. If anything renders her incapable of making her own medical decisions, Ms. Cruz makes any decision regarding her care.” Dr. Banfield flipped through the folder in his hand and shook his head.

  “How could you do this? Why would you do this?” Mona looked at me as though I’d killed her dog.

  I shook my head stupidly, unable to answer her. I didn’t know how this happened. Dr. Banfield, apparently oblivious to Mona’s state of mind, walked us toward one of the rooms. The sound of the ventilator made my heart sink. I covered my mouth with both hands in shock.

  Summer wasn’t breathing on her own. She was lying on the hospital bed, surrounded by machines and tubes. Monitors blipped, bleeped, and traced out colorful lines on the screens. Summer was still and pale. Her head was wrapped in bandages, and her eyes were swollen shut. I’d not expected her to look like a car crash victim.

  “If you’ll follow me, Ms. Cruz, I need to get you up to date so we can discuss what needs to be done.”

  “What did he do to her?” I whispered through my fingers.

  Summer’s hair was tangled, and for some reason, it was wet when I stroked it. I couldn’t decide on an emotion. Anger, fear, and frustration bubbled and sank in my mind, one right after another, with no time to think.

  “I’ve explained things to your in-laws—” Banfield started.

  “We’re not her in-laws. She’s nothing to us. She has no right to even be here.” Mona squeaked, and she pushed me from Summer’s side

  “Mona, stop it right now,” Jimmy warned. “Let Dr. Banfield talk.”

  I tried to catch Jimmy’s gaze, but he avoided my look. My heart sank. Did he believe I’d keep a secret like this?

  “Ms. Cruz we need to talk about the baby.”

  “The baby? Summer had the baby already?” I was confused. She still looked pregnant under all of those sheets.

  Dr. Banfield looked at me for a beat and then took a breath. “No…not yet. That’s what we were discussing.” He looked at Mona and then back at me and Jimmy. He spoke slowly as if to a stupid child. “I don’t know how much you’ve been told, but Summer’s injuries are severe.”

  “I don’t know anything yet. I mean, I thought Parker…”

  I looked at Jimmy. Mona hadn’t answered any of our calls from the plane. This was why. Mona generally pretended that bad news didn’t exist.

  “Parker wasn’t anywhere near her. The police called him and he had to fly back from Colorado. He’s on a plane right now.” She stepped over and poked me in the middle of my chest with her wrinkly finger.

  “But Jimmy said…”

  I looked at Jimmy, who set his lips in a grim line and shook hi
s head.

  “I know it was him. She was getting ready to leave him,” Jimmy said quietly.

  Mona whipped around to face me.

  “You see what you’ve done? Jimmy would follow you anywhere, even if it means destroying his sister.”

  “Stop it, Mona! Just, stop talking.” Jimmy stepped between me and Mona, his dark brows furrowed, I could see the anger on his face. He said it a little too loud, and Dr. Banfield looked quickly up and frowned.

  “Ms. Cruz, the police said that Summer was beaten by an intruder in her home. They believe she surprised a burglar. A neighbor heard noises and called 911. Summer was barely breathing when the paramedics arrived. She’s…her injuries are grave.”

  “Grave, I thought she was just banged up. I thought Parker…” I shook my head, not understanding.

  “She was beaten quite severely. Her liver is torn and bleeding. Her kidneys are not functioning properly, and we believe her brain is still swelling from the injuries.”

  That got me, the brain thing. I looked up at Dr. Banfield, searching his face for something, anything that seemed like good news. He looked at me with sympathy, and my eyes welled with hot tears.

  “Her brain is swelling?”

  He nodded.

  “The pressure is making it hard for her brain to regulate her breathing and heart rhythm. Soon, she won’t be able to.”

  I concentrated on nodding as the world tilted on its side. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jimmy’s shoulders sag. He shook his head, obviously shocked by what he was hearing. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  “So, what are you doing about the swelling? I mean aren’t there drugs for that? Isn’t there some way to surgically relieve the pressure?”

  I blinked back hot tears. Summer’s head was wrapped. I’d registered that earlier.

  “We’ve tried medications, and we performed a craniotomy—a procedure to remove a section of her skull to release the pressure, but neither treatment has worked.”

  “Is there…”

  I couldn’t finish. Of course there wasn’t anything else. They would have done it already. It was an emergency; they would have done what they could.

  “You said there was something about the baby?”

  “Is the baby OK?” Jimmy asked quietly.

  “Our team feels its best to take the baby now. With Summer’s kidney function deteriorating by the hour, and her liver in the shape it’s in, an emergency C-section would give the baby the best odds.”

  “Odds? Like there’s a chance the baby won’t make it?” My stomach flopped. I could barely get out my words.

  “We’re nearing the time when Summer’s organs won’t be able to sustain the baby.”

  “Do you think that will change? If we do nothing. Will things, I don’t know, even out? Can we just wait a bit?”

  “The baby is in distress. We need to do something, or we risk the baby’s health, also.” Dr. Banfield pointed to the monitor scrolling out a long strip of paper.

  I finally understood what he wanted. “Oh.”

  “You have to give us the go ahead. Since the C-section isn’t technically for Summer, but her baby, we need consent.”

  I looked at Mona, who stared daggers at me and shook her head slowly.

  “Would Summer…would this kill her?”

  Dr. Banfield looked at me for few seconds and sighed heavily. He tapped his finger on the consent form.

  “This type of invasive procedure, on an already critical patient is very risky. It is likely that Summer won’t survive the C-section.”

  Mona let out a strangled moan and grabbed at Dr. Banfield’s sleeve.

  “Then don’t do it! Just leave her alone. She’ll rally. She’s strong, you know that, Jimmy.”

  “Ms. Cruz, a neurosurgeon performed some tests on Summer, to check for brain function.”

  “What kind of tests?”

  I was unable to tear my eyes from Summer’s prone figure. Her hand was wrapped up in a splint. How was she going to change the baby with a broken wrist?

  Dr. Banfield leaned forward to catch my attention and then continued softly.

  “The neurologist performed an apnea test. That’s a breathing test to check for brain stem activity. She won’t breath on her own.”

  Mona cut in. Mascara stained both cheeks. She addressed Dr. Banfield as if I wasn’t there.

  “Well, maybe just her lungs are injured. Maybe she just needs to rest them for a while. We should wait for Parker. He’s her husband. Reyna is just…just nothing.”

  Banfield looked at me, ignoring her.

  “Ms. Cruz, the neurologist did several tests. All of them came back with the same results. Summer has suffered a catastrophic and irreversible traumatic brain injury. It is highly unlikely that she will ever recover. Her organs are starting to shut down.”

  His words hit me with such force that I staggered back a step. Summer couldn’t be this bad. This couldn’t be true. Jimmy took a step toward me.

  “We need to get the baby out while there’s still a chance she can make it.” Banfield continued quietly.

  “She? Summer’s having a girl?” My heart wrenched open. Hot tears burned the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t breathe.

  “Reyna!” Mona cried. “Reyna, don’t go there. You save Summer. Do you hear me? You save Summer!”

  “I don’t know how to do that, Mona!” I turned to Dr. Banfield. “Is she…are you saying Summer is terminal?”

  Dr. Banfield nodded. “That is our best determination. If her heart stops, we can continue to shock her, bring her back to a rhythm, but the longer we wait to act on the baby’s behalf, the more likely it will be that we lose both of them…”

  I felt the floor tilt and then Jimmy was there. His arm encircled my waist, and I grabbed onto his shirt sleeve while my legs turned to rubber bands.

  “Rain, you need to listen to what he’s saying.” His voice was low next to my ear.

  “As her guardian, you need to do what she would want,” Dr. Banfield said looking at Mona. “Whatever the reason, it was her wish, that you make these decisions for her, if she were unable. Summer signed those papers on purpose.”

  I was frozen, brain locked with panic, when a shrill tone tore out from the monitors over Summer’s bed.

  “No!” Mona wailed taking a step towards me as people ran into the room swarming Summer’s tiny body.

  “Ms. Cruz!” Banfield snapped. “I need a decision, now.”

  Mona lunged toward me, but Jimmy pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. She bounced off of his back, crying. I turned to look at Summer. She would never choose herself over her child—never in a million years.

  I grabbed the consent form from the doctor’s hand and scribbled my name frantically. “Do it! Take the baby!” I screamed at Banfield.

  Mona wailed and launched herself at the bed, trying to pull the defibrillator paddles off the machine herself, but a burly resident yanked her to the side. Banfield barked orders, and someone climbed up onto the bed and pushed on Summer, giving her CPR, and then they wheeled her across the room and out the door. They disappeared behind two swinging doors leaving us with the shrieking machines and the deep hollow of knowing that someone we loved was not coming back.

  Mona took another step toward me, but Jimmy put his hand up stopping her. Her eyes were furious, and she shrieked like a mythical animal. “You’re a murderer!”

  She spat in my face.

  Jimmy growled and reached out for her but she was too quick. She slapped me across the face, and I let her, not bothering to put my hands up when I saw it coming. Blood from my lip sprayed out in front of me onto the floor, and I thought it strangely ironic that Summer and I would both shed blood here. Jimmy grabbed his mother’s arm, spun her around, and marched her out of the room.

  “A murderer!” She yelled again over her shoulder, yanked away from Jimmy, and ran toward the stairs, crying Summer’s name.

  The nursing staff and families of other patients
stared transfixed at our surreal drama. And still, the stupid machines screeched their reproach that something was terribly wrong.

  Ten minutes later, Dr. Banfield returned. The baby made it, Summer did not.

  I sank to the floor and slumped against the nurse’s counter as sobs ripped through my body as though my stomach were trying to come up. My throat was so full of ache that the pain of her loss couldn’t escape. Then Jimmy was there, and I just wailed silently. Shaking and sorry and angry that my Summer was gone.

  Purple Knot

  4

  In retrospect, I should’ve seen it coming. After signing papers with the nurse, I wandered down to the cafeteria to find some coffee…or arsenic. Either would have done. I stood in the aisle between the hanging packages of trail mix and the steaming soup buckets wondering what I was even doing down here.

  “How could you do this? That baby has no mother because of you!” Mona screamed.

  I froze with a bowl full of potato soup in one hand, a ladle in the other. Again, hindsight tells me I should have kept the ladle in my possession.

  I was not sure what to say to a crazy person who was now suffering unbearable grief.

  “I’m sorr—”

  “Don’t you ever speak to me again!” Mona strode across the cafeteria towards me. People parted for her as if they knew her, making an open path right to me.

  “You are the worst kind of…of…scum.”

  I watched with morbid fascination as her hands came up again. Her long coral-pink nails flashed in the buzzing florescent lights.

  Jimmy ran out of the elevator, scanned right, then left, did a double-take, and launched himself towards us. Alas, he always seemed to be a second behind the action.

  Mona grabbed my sweater with both hands and shook me like bag of dirty rags.

  Occupied by the bowl of now wildly sloshing potato soup in my hands, I was useless against her onslaught.

  “You…did…this! You did this!” Mona heaved with the strain of throttling me, and I could smell the bourbon on her breath. Where did she get bourbon in a hospital?

  Jimmy wrenched Mona off of me and sent her sliding on her butt through the puddle of spilled soup.